Aug 192011

I know Melissa is posting about her weight loss, so for some sense of accountability I decided to post on my weight loss.

I’m embarrassed by my weight, so I feel somewhat of a need to preface this entry with a statement. Weight loss is something that I’ve always struggled with. I’ve always had a complex about being too fat – even when I was 120 lbs in high school. I think my body image will always be skewed. That being said, I have PCOS. One of the symptoms is weight gain/trouble losing weight. I’m kind of stuck in a loop, because if I could lose the weight, some of the symptoms might ease up. But losing the weight is so damned hard. If I am not (for lack of a better word) obsessed with what I eat, I will not lose weight, and if I’m not careful, I will gain weight.

Now, about my weight gain. I had already gained weight prior to my junior year of college. Between my junior and senior years in college, I decided to use Slim Fast. I lost a good 30 lbs. Of course, once college started back up again, I stopped the diet. Around the same time, I started dating Jack. I love Jack and his family dearly, but they cook very heavy, rich (carb-laden) foods for almost every meal. Between the heavy foods, being back at college (and not liking much of the food), and the PCOS, I managed to gain that 30 lbs back, plus some. So to sum it up, between crash dieting, not watching carefully, and PCOS (which I didn’t know about at the time), I gained a lot of weight.

I won’t be posting pictures of my weight loss. At least not yet. To me, the numbers are embarrassing enough. Maybe after the fact I’ll be able to look back and get past my body image issues, but right now I just can’t. My ultimate goal is to lose about 100 lbs, but I’d take about 70 lbs, which would put me at about 170 lbs (what I weighed when I met Jack).

So, here goes.

Starting weight: 241 lbs
Current weight: 233.2 lbs
Goal weight: 140 lbs

I also set mini goals for myself, and my first mini goal is to reach 220 lbs. The 7.8 lbs I’ve lost so far is due to diet change and drinking more water. I had been down closer to 231 lbs, but apparently carbs are my enemy and cause drastic weight gain for me. I’m not eliminating carbs completely, but I’m being very selective about how many carbs I eat. I’m also following Weight Watchers. I’ve found some awesome healthy recipes.

My goals for this coming week: Work starts up again for me this week. We’ve bought an exercise bike, now I need to use it. I want to start exercising in the mornings before I go to work. I also want to up my water intake – I’ve been slacking on that the last few weeks.